Wal-Mart is Ridiculous!!!!

My husband and I made a late night stop at the local Walmart (American Fork, Utah) to purchase cat food, cat litter and chips. In total, the purchase was twenty something dollars. Since it was 1am, there was only one register (minus the long register next to the cigarettes) and hence we proceeded to purchase our items. After ringing everything up, my husband attempted to pay with our Discover card. The lady asked for state issued ID to which my husband refused (per agreements with the CC companies, AMEX, Discover, VISA and MC - companies MAY NOT ask for photo ID as this may contribute to identity theft). Because she wouldn't accept the card without photo ID, he gave her our AMEX card which HAS a photo ID on the back. She refused this card as well based on one card having my husbands full name and the other only having his first name as an initial (he goes by his middle name). As she was not going to allow us to purchase our items, we asked for the manager. The assistant manager, Stefan, spoke with us and also refused to let us purchase our items. This resulted in requesting an actual manager, Jared. I don't know why this manager felt the need to come with an army of people, but he did. I can only assume he was doing some sort of training (at 1am?). Even after seeing BOTH cards AND state issued ID, he told us that walmart is a privately owned company and they are not required to accept our cards or provide any service! I was completely floored! We even offered to step over to the ATM which happens to be outside of the credit union where our accounts are and pay with cash, but we were refused! I could have sworn that paper money says "legal tender" on it and can not be refused. Regardless, his state issued ID had ALL THREE NAMES in full and should have provided plenty of proof! I even offered to show my cards with the same number and my name and even my state issued ID which they declined. I offered to call AMEX which they told me that would not be necessary (which I did call after leaving and they verified that I was correct and have filed a complaint with regarding Walmart). He informed us that he felt we were trying to steal something and where trying to fraudulently pay for the items. I don't know what else I could have possibly shown them after them seeing two credit cards and a state issued ID. They didn't even attempt to swipe either card! They were going completely on the initial refusal to show the state issued ID and that one card had his full name and the other an initial. Apparently they think thieves are able to steal cards of people with different names but look identical to the thief. And here's a shocker, an off the clock walmart employee was checking out in front of us and was he asked for any ID? She didn't even glance at his card - but ours, well, it gets the third degree.At this point I was completely shocked that Walmart was refusing to allow me to purchase ANYTHING with either of my cards after asking for a ridiculous amount of ID! And even more shocking, they then escorted us out of the store!!!! I can not even believe Walmart reacted this way when I was completely within my right! I've spoken with both AMEX and Discover both which told me I was completely within my right to deny the state issued ID and informed me that any store which carries their logo MUST allow me to purchase the items. They may not deny me service based on failure to provide state issued ID - and that's in their merchant agreement that they sign with the credit card companies!I have since also spoken with both the District Manager and the Store Manager who both agreed the issue was handled incorrectly. Yet, I've not been offered an apology and the employees still work at walmart.

What's considered offensive?

So, today I was talking with some individuals in IRC when one guy said something about a "midget" being on some game show on TV. Immediately, another individual piped up and said something along the lines of them preferring to be called "little people". While this may be true for some, I certainly do not believe it's so for all.

Let me give you some reasoning behind my thoughts. First, as a child born in the 70s and completing all of my elementary education in the 80s, the term midget was widely accepted. I learned the term at school in my very own classroom. It wasn't until the 90s when I was in high school that the term dwarf was suddenly considered more correct. And now in the 2000s, we've switched to little people. What I find interesting is how people who are shorter have decided that the term midget is offensive. This individual in IRC stated that it was due to the "side show freaks" in the early 1900s and suggested that midget was not an acceptable term after the 70s.

Well, here's a little history. No one is quite sure who coined the term midget. However, it has been widely accepted in language since the 1800s. Some believe a well known author was the first to coin the term and others believe it was the "side show freak" circus owners who did it. Regardless, that was the term. In the 1950s, the first Midgets of America convention was held in Reno, Nevada. It was sometime shortly after that that the name was changed to Little People of America. The name was changed mostly do the fact that midget and dwarf were considered to be two different types of little people (based on proportion) and that the term little people would thus include both.

This individual whom I was discussing this with continued to quote things from the LPA's (Little People of America) website. And while I respect that the people who are members of the LPA would like to be called or referred to as "little people" this does not include every small person in the USA. Even more so, America is not the only country in the world and certainly does not have the highest population. Who are we to decide that the entire world needs to refer to short people as "little people" rather than midgets or dwarfs? Why would it be considered rude to ask how they would like to be referred? Even more so, why would I need to refer to someone as anything other than short? I'm short and people say as much. Should I now be offended?

I've known people who by definition are midgets. They did not prefer to be called anything other than short. I've heard midgets say they prefer midgets over little people because they find the word "little" to be demeaning. I've heard dwarfs say they want to be called nothing but dwarf because they feel it is less demeaning than midget and less demeaning than little people. We already know that there's a whole group who prefer just Little People so no need to rehash that.

My point is, if you are offended, that's your problem. It's just language and if someone is intentionally being hurtful, then do not associate with them. You aren't friends with mean people are you? You think that if they called you something that wasn't demeaning that wouldn't make them a mean person? Every person on this earth has the capability to decide if they are or are not offended. Choose to not be offended.

Here's a good example which debunks my friends claims. He stated that the LPA represents all short people in the US and hence the term little people is used in laws and court and the like. Well here's something you should chew on for a while. The city I live in has about ten thousand people in it. Our city council has 5 voting members. When they decide something for the city they may speak for the majority, but they do not speak for me directly. I may disagree strongly with whatever they have decided for the city which I choose to be a part of. If the city council voted and passed a law stating that everyone in our city is to be referred to as dolts - they would certainly not speak for me (although it would be true in the mayor's case).

The same is true for the LPA. That doesn't mean they do not do good work. That doesn't mean they aren't great wonderful people. But the height of a person is not the measure of the man. And hence, who cares what word may describe them. It's only hurtful if you let it be.

Can the Past Catch Up to You?

Before you start thinking I have a shady past or something - I'll tell you I don't. I've always wished I could step back into some of my memories and experience some things again. For example, I really miss having Christmas at my grandparents home in Ohio. Even now, it wouldn't be the same. All the wonder and excitement of Christmas that a child experiences is gone for me as an adult. I often wish I could step back into some of those memories and feel the excitement again. I wish I could have my family with me - all my siblings under one roof - and my grandfather was still alive. But life goes on (it's cruel like that) and there are some things you'll never experience again. Regretablly, as an adult, I know I've often not appreciated the moment knowing years later I'd look back and really cherish certain memories.

Here's what I really mean by the past catching up to you. I've always been the kind of person who has a few close friends and many not so close friends. Everywhere I've lived I've always had at least one really close friend. Funny thing about that is as a kid I used to really worry about if I'd make friends in whatever new place I moved to. As an adult, life is a little different now. Since I got married I moved to a place where I knew no one. My closest friend lives with me - but he's different than all the friends I had as a child and teenager. Most people are really good about keeping in touch with the people they knew as a child, teenager, young adult. I've never been one of those people.

For example, my earliest friend was a boy named Ryan. When I was 5, I was certain I was going to marry him. When I was 8, I was certain his mother wanted me to stop writing to him and telling him how much I loved him. LOL. I moved away when I was 4 or 5. My best friend then was a girl named Kim. I moved away from there when I was 8. We were penpals for a while - but that eventually slowed down and all together dropped off. From 8 to 18, I had a couple of really close friends. Probably the closest was a girl named Sarah. As far as friends go - we were definitely the best. We knew each other really well - inside and out. I had two other friends who I was fairly close to - Joi and Laura. Both were awesome people and when I went away to college, I thought I'd stay in touch. But I didn't. My freshman year of college, I met and made friends with a couple of different girls. Holly and Carrie were probably my closest and my sophomore year, I met another girl who I became good friends with, Karen. Then something interesting happened. I found myself living somewhere entirely new without knowing anyone. My dad gave me some really good advice my freshman year of college. He told me that no matter how I was feeling, if I wanted to be happy and have friends, I needed to get out and do everything I could. This meant not moping around the house all day feeling sorry for myself becaues I somehow managed to get stuck in Kansas. He was right. My closest friend was probably Heather - but I ended up making many very good friends during that period of time. Five years later, I met my husband and well... as some would say, the rest is history.

Here's the interesting thing about all of that. As much as all of those people meant so much to me at the time we were friends, I really don't keep in touch with any of them. Occassionally, I'll get an email or two from someone telling me what's going on in their life, but they tend to be the form letter emails that get sent to several people - and aren't really meant for you to reply to. All of this brings me to my reason for writing all of this. Back in March, my husband and I visited my sister (who is probably one of closest friends now) in Tennessee where I grew up. For the first time in ten years, I visited my hometown. I decided I'd try to contact Sarah, my friend from my teenage years. I had heard she wasn't happy with me because of how our friendship ended. I'm sure we were both guilty of wronging the other, but I had never known I had wronged her in any way. It wasn't until I called her that I realized that she had been angry with me for ten years. That's a whole lot of anger. I'm the kind of person who may be angry at first and even may hold on to that anger for a long time, but will eventually let the fire go out. The thing is, I learned from that experience that you can't revisit the past. The past is better where it is, a memory of a good time. You can't relive a memory and you can't revisit the past (at least not in that sense). I had decided to leave things in the past be. Those friends of mine during my younger years are better remembered as the good friends they were then.

BUT... now the past is looking for me. Shortly after returning from Tennessee, one by one, friends I knew in High School, in college, in Kansas, all started contacting me. Last night as my husband was trying to sleep and I was rambling on about things I'm sure he was trying to ignore, I mentioned that in one day I had received and emailed back about 5 people from my past. Hearing how their lives are now and where they are now, it's like I don't even know them anymore. They are all different than they were when we were friends. We've all gone on to experience new things and our lives have changed and we have changed. It's almost weird to email each other (or worse - talk on the phone) because our lives are so different now. It's definitely an interesting experience when the past starts to catch up with you.

"God gaves us memories that we might have June roses in the Decembers of our lives."

Change of Character

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer

I think it's only human nature to find error in others but not in ourselves. It's interesting to me to think about how we have control over ourselves and no one else, but we always want to change others. The one constant in our lives is ourselves. Before we can change others, make others better, we have to look inward and change ourselves.

I think I'm definitely one of those people who find fault in others. HOWEVER, I'm definitely not one who doesn't find fault with herself. There are tons of times I look at myself and think, "Is there anything I'm doing right?" And I have to admit when I'm upset or angry about something stupid I have to think, "Am I losing it?"

I think part of the problem is I've let myself get so far off track from who I really am. I've let myself fit into a mold of what others think I am or who I think they want me to be and haven't focused on really being myself. As I mentioned the other day, I got to the point where I didn't feel very 'girly' and I didn't feel comfortable letting myself cry when I was upset or admitting that something someone said or did bothered me. The point is, I'm a woman and I can't (nor do I want to) change who I am. Improve - yes - change, no. I need to be true to myself first.

Being Unique

"Some people are carbon copies. Others make their own impression."
- Church billboard in Arizona

My husband and I always make fun of these young teenagers who think they are being unique and different by trying to be rebellious with their friends. Funny thing is, by doing just that, it makes them not unique and not individuals. It's hard to be true to yourself sometimes when you want to fit in. You want people to like you. Sometimes it's hard to feel like people will like you - really like you - if you are yourself and not what you think they want you to be.

Recently, I left my online gaming clan that my husband and I ran together. It was a tough decision for me, but I got tired of people looking at me as one of the guys. I'm not a guy! Sure, I like a lot of guy things, but I'm so far from being a guy - it hurts - literally. I cry when my feelings are hurt and I can't just shrug things off. If I make any bodily noise, I'm embarassed - not proud. And yeah, I get jealous of my man's time with his friends. For me, I felt like I was drowning. It was a tough decision, and not one my husband necessarily liked. But I needed to do it for my own sanity.

Happiness comes from being yourself.

Making the Most of the Day

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
- John Burroughs, essayist and naturalist

Interesting that someone a hundred years ago thought this. I mean, I feel that way everyday and I have more free time than most people. There are always projects I need to work on and things I'd like to do and places I'd like to see. Part of what keeps some of those things from happening is money. There's never enough money to do all the things you want. But there are some things I can do and for some reason, the time never seems to present itself. I hate when you have so many things to do and for whatever reason you just put them off until you get to the point that you have so much to do you are stressed beyond belief.

I recently felt that way as I was trying to get things ready for our LAN Party. No matter how hard I tried to get things done, it seemed like there was always more to do. Even now that it's done and past, I think of all the things I wanted to get done that didn't get done. I am proud of myself for finishing the chair that I had to refurbish thanks to my cat's bladder.

Overall, I'm not very good at using my time wisely. When I do plan things out and I get tons of things accomplished it feels great. But for whatever reason, I'm horrible at getting to that point where I'm motivated to actually accomplish things. :\

Life is Like a Pile of Bricks....

Do you ever sit down and look at your life and think, "Wow, this is such a huge waste of my life?"

I was sitting here today after spending the entire weekend getting things ready for our HUGE LAN party and after spending an entire morning cleaning. I suddenly realized, more people attended last year's LAN and more people went to the unofficial Vegas Meet and more people are going to CPL than are coming to our LAN - at least from the clan. That fact and the fact that my husband and I have poured countless amounts of money into this clan made me realize, I wish I could recover every lost penny I'd wasted on this group of ungrateful bastards. No one is willing to chip in and help with anything - and no I don't just mean financially. I mean with everything. No one wants to hold gamenights. No one wants to run a team. No one wants to be in charge of anything on the website or on the forums. No one even idles the channels that I put tons of time into making sure are available for them. No one cares.

A huge frustration for me is CPL. I really have no desire whatsoever to go. I'm not a competitive player, so why would I spend 3-4 days driving in the hot summer heat and waste more than a grand just to attend an event that does not appeal to me in anyway? I was willing to attend because my husband wanted to go. But I was going as moral support only - not as a player. Somehow I got roped into being on the team even though I do not want to play. I can't even just goof off and play with them without paying $80. WTF?! Not to mention that at a minimum, gas will cost us $600 not to mention the $500 hotel room and hey, we gotta eat too. Then there is the zero time off my husband has. I think he's even working on our anniversary so we can attend this thing - this thing I don't want to even go to. I have zero desire to go to Dallas Texas in July for a full week. I have even less desire to spend our entire savings on this trip.

Thing is, I suggested him buying a plane ticket (it's cheaper) and going on his own. He wants to go so why not? Problem is, we've never spent a night apart. We spent plenty of time apart when we were dating - him in Utah and me in Kansas - and neither of us want to relive that. So basically, I think I'm done with online gaming. I think it's sucked away enough of my life - enough of my time - enough of my money.

The Week From Hell

Ever have one of those weeks where you think - wow, nothing more could possibly go wrong. And as soon as you say that - more goes wrong.

FIRST, Tuesday I managed to impale my foot on a nail. This resulted in my entire week being thrown off (no house work getting done and absolutely no exercise) and a tetanus shot. I thought for sure, it can't get worse.... right?

Then Wednesday when I'm cleaning in our living room a picture just falls right off the wall hitting the top of our cd shelf and apparently knocking every shelf out thus resulting in a mass of jumbled CDs and CD cases and lots of shelves. It's still sitting there.... has yet to be moved.

Then Thursday, when I'm thinking, okay, I gotta make some headway on the house work, I decide I'm going to clean the fish tank. I've never used that sucky siphon thing before and in my frustration, got online to see if I could figure it out. Once I got it going and got a big huge bucket of nasty fish shit, I turn around only to stumble over alt's shoe and dump almost the entire bucket out on the carpet and into his other shoe. Thank god last week we bought a heavy duty shampooer. This resulted in lots of four letter words and somehow alt's shoes ended up in separate spots in the garage. Don't ask me how that happened.

So I'm thinking, okay, the week from hell is certainly over on Friday. Friday night while dinner is cooking in the oven and I'm reading a magazine at the table this ferocious storm moves in. I'm thinking, eh, we have wind all the time. So for the most part I ignore it until I hear a crashing sound. I ran to the backdoor to see what was going on only to find our grill face planted into our stone patio. I'm thinking, HA, it does that all the time - no big deal right? Until I hear the most horrible sound ever... metal bending, wind howling, and then take off..... the canopy bends the nails in half and managed to impale itself on my neighbors fence. $200 laying on the fence with it's legs on one side (the side the metal didn't snap in half) dangling in the air.

It's Saturday. I don't know if it's safe to leave the house.